I wish I didn't have to wash pee sheets, like ONCE a week. Just ONE day that someone doesn't pee their bed, and I would be a happy teacher.
My hands are covered in gloves. "Uh...Miss.Beanie...I'm SOAKED."
*sigh* "It's okay...Here's some clothes." I take the bed strip the sheet and disinfect, while I hear behind me "I'M WET!"
I wanna bite all the bed pee'ers...maybe then they would be too terrified to pee, but alas....That would get me fired.
I had a child tell his mom "Miss.Beanie won't let me pee. THAT'S why I pee the bed."
I wanted to shank him. SHANK his little body. "Um...Your child can pee whenever he likes, the door is open AND he pee's at least 5 times between lunch and nap. Your child is a liarpants, he should be punished."
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I had to tell a child today "STOP saying 'In the butt in the butt in the butt' please before I call child welfare on your parents." (WHO has to say that in their daily life?...Me and Mindy that's who)
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"Why are you fat?"
"Why are you white? Cuz God made me this way....that and I eat pie....but that is besides the point. Don't you wish YOU could be as fluff-o-rific as me?"
"Yes I do."
"Next time you go to Burger king, order the pie... It'll be 'aight kid."
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"Beanie...Why you do you always draw hearts on my notes home?"
"Because I love you."
"Oh....I Like your hair."
"Thanks..I like your nostrils."
"Thanks."
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"What in the world is going on over here?"
"I'm Building a bridge."
"WHY do YOU get to build a bridge, when all of the other children have to sit down at the table?"
"Because I just HAVE too!"
"That's a pretty great bridge."
"Thanks."
"Build away, I'll cover you."
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