When my sister lived with me, I loved it.
Not only was she holding down the fort while I ventured into the world and figured out how to be a single mom, a student AND a teacher...But she walked me to my very first day of class, (and refused to leave until she absolutely had too) .....she also welcomed me home each night with a huge pot of coffee and a talk.
OH how we laughed, snorted and gasped with each other.
It was during one of our 'talks' that we found ourselves discussing porn stars ass holes.
Meaning, we HAD to find out why in the world their assholes were prefect and pink and ours were....well....not.
"What the hell. That's not normal right?" I questioned
"Oh HELL no...they do something to their assholes. That shit is bleached or something." My sister scoffed
So we researched it. I asked all of my friends at work about THEIR assholes, and FINALLY we decided that we were going to have a set of our very own perfectly pink porn assholes.
We found a site that SOLD asshole bleaching kits, but sadly...we were broke.
(NO....They didn't call it 'asshole bleaching', but SERIOUSLY saying the word asshole, just brings a smile to my heart.)
We then researched the ingredients, and set out to find our very own generic version at Walmart.
Which...we did. It was seriously 3 bucks.
We felt like friggen asshole geniuses...we also KNEW the cashier KNEW just what we were doing.
This cream from walmart was actually something else...scar dimminisher or something....But still..The ingredients were the same.
We rang up, and all the way home we sang songs. "OOOOH our assholes will be pink and pretty, pink and pretty, pink and pretty...our assholes will be pink and pretty JUST LIKE THE PORN STARSSSS!"
We giggled and debated who would go first.
Cyn did. (of course)
Then I did.
Wanna know if we have porn star assholes?
The answer is no, cuz we shmeared it on once, and never throught about it again.
Which leads me to Tuesday morning.
I was illegally talking on the phone during my morning commute to work. I had my sister on speaker while she ranted and raved about her husband blowing up her computer with porn.
I just smiled and shook my head while she talked.
I drove around a corner, laughing maniacally at her vicious rant. "I swear to GOD. If I was 5'8" tall, had HUGE fake tits and a porn star ass my husband would fuck me more!!!"
I almost pee'd my pants.
I had to press my knees together, which, while you are driving is reeeeeally hard.
My laughter made her laugh...."remember...remember our porn ass?" I snorted and wiped the drool off of my bellspalsy cheek.
"YES!" *silence* "Fuck porn ass."
That made me laugh even harder.
We ended our conversation, and her laughter still echoed in my heart.
Our Gramma used to always tell us "You girls remember, all you have is each other. You can fight. But you better make up. You're all you got."
Porn ass and all.
