The very
first memory that I have, in my entire life, Is of Jenny.
We were
about 2, and while playing in my grandmother’s bedroom, we came across her
bright red lipstick.
I remember
the sun shining through the window.
I remember
the drapes moving with the wind
…….and I remember Jenny........ Laughing at
me and becoming my MIRROR in our fun game of “Let’s be grandma”
Jenny and I
never understood why we got into so much trouble when grandma finally saw our
masterpiece smeared onto our bodies.
We couldn’t
WAIT for family visits and we would lay in bed, side by side and catch each
other up on our important life events.
Our first
kisses, periods, perms.
We had
secret words that we made up so that we could talk to each other without Cyndi
and Brian understanding, because they were the "enemy."
We were
CONVINCED that we were traded at birth and in OUR reality WE were actually
sisters…our parents had it all wrong. They called us the Boppsy twins.
I tagged
along to Jenny’s softball games, she endured the WILD that was Don Pedro.
Jenny and I
grew up sharing secrets, dressing up and lip singing with our siblings. We had
a secret hand shake and pink promised EVERYTHING.
She pissed me off by gleeking into my face.
I pissed her off by pretending that I
didn’t care.
When I had
my son, Jenny was there. She held my hand, scared to DEATH and muttered “ Dude…This
all doesn’t look right”
When Jenny
had baby Shaun, she insisted that “This is what I was made for.”
When Jenny
had Tyler, it just confirmed it.
And when
Jenny was pregnant with Maddy, her wish upon a star, her dream come true….She
cried happy tears.
Her sons
were her pride and joy, but she always wished for a girl.
When she was
7 months pregnant we had an appointment for a 3 D ultrasound. We walked into
this fancy shmancy massage place.
It was
quiet. It was Zen.
It was a
place that Jenny and I had no business being in.
She lay down
on a heated leather recliner, and I squished next to her on the floor. I was SO
EXCITED. Jenny was SO EXCITED. Aunty Lois was SO EXCITED.
The
ultrasound lady warned us that people were in the next room having massages,
and that it was important to keep the atmosphere relaxed….. and ……calm.
Again,
….THIS WAS a place that Jenny and I had no business being in.
We tried.
I squished
my lips shut with my hand and tucked into a ball on the floor. My heart was
beating SO hard, and without even facing me or looking my direction Jenny told
me “RELAX CUZ…REEEELAX.”
When the
technician announced that it was a GIRL, I screamed through my fingers and shot
to my feet.
Did I fist
pump?? Yes I did.
Jenny
laughed at me and tried to shush me. But through her shush, were her tears...
When Jenny
was in the hospital last week, I walked in with Michelle Green.
We clasped
hands and I could feel her body tremble. Some of The first words that Michelle
said were “Ah. That laugh tho” And she shook her head.
That is what
she said.
That laugh.
It was
unique, it was organic. It had a life all of its own.
Jenny was a
life force.
When Jenny
came to visit me a few months back, we sat on my front porch smoking, drinking
coffee and talking about Family. It never mattered to her what fights were
happening in the family. SHE could talk badly, but so help ANYONE who said
ANYTHING negative about her cousin, her brothers or her parents.
I double
pinky promised that I would NEVER repeat this, but just this once, I think she wouldn’t mind.
She said to
me about her brothers “ Don’t ever tell
them Cousin, but It doesn’t matter what happens in life or how old we get,
Matthew will always be my best
friend, and Brian will always be my
hero.”
