There is a little girl at my school.
Her hair is ratty and the curls that reign her head are held tightly against her scalp. (In SOME places.) Her hair actually seems to be various lengths, as if she herself decided that parts of it needed a trim and others do not.
Sometimes her riot of curls holds a little nugget of a braid. One that you can barely see until she points it out with pride.
"See my braid?" She beams at whomever stands closest to her.
The teachers ooh and ahhh and nod and smile.
TODAY her hair was adorned with 7 hair clips. Haphazardly placed amongst the stray braid and the rest of the curls.
........There was a reason for their placement.I stared at them for 5 full minutes before shaking my head and walking in the opposite direction.
She is slim and the clothing that she wears is either too small or much too big. The patterns that she wears never match but there is something much better that she wears.
Confidence.
On Tuesday she waltzed up to me, proudly pointing at the sliver glitter bow that was held into her hair by a headband. " See my bow Ms.Beanie?"
"I do! I do indeed see your bow."
I didn't know how anyone could miss it! It was a giant sparkly monster of a thing, one she probably dug out of her mothers closet from a box marked 'My 80's high school gear.'
"AND!....." She exclaimed as she pointed down to her feet.
"Annnnnnnnd......Silver sparkle shoes. Nice!" I exclaimed "Way to bring it all together!"
In between the silver bow and matching shoes there were pink striped pants and a black and white polkadot dress.
She proudly nodded and took my hand. "aren't I so beautiful?" she beamed up at me.
"You indeed are beautiful." I agreed. And she ran off to dig in the sand some more. Adding the gritty browness to her silver sparkle shoes.
5 minutes later she ran back to me in tears "Ms.Beanie!" was all she could gasp out. She fell against me and heaved great sobs against my shirt.
"What is wrong!? Only 5 minutes ago you were smiling!"
"That girl. She said I was ugly Ms. Beanie! She said I was SO UGLY!" And she threw herself against me once more.
Her heart was not broken. It was BROKEN.
I held her for a second and scanned the yard to see which little girl was guiltily looking at me and giving herself away.
What I saw was a yard full of very well dressed children. In TuTu's and matching outfits and knit sweaters. They have nice haircuts and new shoes and it was all covered by the same gritty sand that covered this child's old sparkle shoes.
I pulled her from my body and looked into her light blue eyes.
No. This was not a beautiful child.
She does not have a perfect bow mouth nor does she have a healthy round child body. Her skinny frame was held by my unskinny one and I smiled into her eyes.
"Do you know WHY you are so beautiful?" I asked her
"Why?" She blinked away tears and leaned closer to me
"Your shoes sparkle and that makes you happy. The bow in your hair makes you FEEL pretty. But what makes you beautiful...truly beautiful, is the fact that you Believe that you are."
"I do believe that I am! I KNOW I am."
I looked down at her and smiled "You remind me of someone." I said to her
"I do?!"
"Yes."
"Who?"
"Me."
Talk is CHEAP, I am not.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Monday, February 17, 2014
Blowout.
On Saturday evening I had a private consult.
(The one I scheduled while guiltily looking at my daughter the week prior)
Now, before you picture me being a hooker on the side of the road on a dark, damp Saturday evening, let me explain just WHAT a private consult IS.
A private consult is where I go to the home of a person who is too shy, too busy or too excited to show their significant other...my products.
Maybe they do not want to tread into Suzie's in the rain (Great Idea, because I come with instructions, demonstrations and lube.)
Maybe, like my consult on Saturday evening, their husband wanted to see too.
So, after shopping and lunching all day with Emma, Brandee and Mandy, I showered... threw on some spanks and (an AMAZING) polka dotted dress and headed out the door.
My consult went very well. I sold products, the couple was amazing and we were headed home. Happy that it was so early.
Then....we heard a noise.
"I hear a noise." I sputtered.
Brandee turned down the radio and listened.
It wasn't a typical noise. It was a weird noise. "Maybe it is just the road. You know the roads are weird out here."
I nodded, but my stomach was nervous and Brandee was listening intently.
"Lets pull over and check it out."
We pulled into a well lit area and got out of the car. I held my cellphone up to the tires and only hesitated at one. We both stared at it and looked closer. I put my foot on it and pressed, checking the air with the bottom of my heel.
It seemed fine to me.
"I cant believe that you just kicked your heel up to check the tire." Brandee laughed as we buckled ourselves back in.
"Well. I had to check."
We both felt better about life after our 'all knowing cell phone/high heel check' .
We got on the freeway.
After about a mile the sound got louder.
"something's wrong." I stated
"Something is definitely wrong. Lets get off at the next exit."
Brandee slowed down and hit the hazards. The car jerked "Yep, there goes the tire."
"Oh shit." I surveyed the area and we were nowhere near an exit.
In fact. We were no where near an area that was safe to pull over.
We kept going, very slowly until we saw gravel.
"Pull over as far as you can"
"I am."
I reached into the backseat and grabbed my flip-flops. Kicking off my reds I slipped them on and jumped out. Cellphone light ready.
We surveyed the tires and sure enough, it was the front right one that we had given a second look.
"Fuck."
"Fuck." I echoed
Now.
Normally we would call Mandy and Mandy would come save us. NORMALLY we would get into the car and wait out the hour by checking Facebook and lamenting our bad luck.
That was not a possibility.
Mandy was at home in Modesto with no car.
WE were on the side of the road in Atwater. Right next to a palm reader.
"We can do this Beanie." Brandee stated
"Of course we can." I answered
She called Mandy and popped the trunk. We started emptying the stuff out to get to the spare.
Brandee found a sheet and she put it by the tire "Look. Juan did this, so will we."
I laughed and snorted "Do we have rubber gloves?"
"No. we don't need rubber gloves" She laughed back at me
We found the tire underneath a felt covered board. Brandee propped the board up with her head while she touched a round thing that was holding the tire in.
"What is this? Wha....what do I do?"
I grabbed the board and held it up for her. Peeking inside.
It was a plastic circle.
She started turning it. "Lefty loosey" she muttered while spinning it.
It came loose.
"Yay!" I cheered
She grabbed the small baby tire and lifted "Arrrrgh!"
The tire plunked back down.
She tried again.
"Huuuuuuuh!" she grunted as she tried to lift it. Half of her body slipped inside the trunk I SWEAR.
I gulped down a giggle.
"My turn." I stated
We switched sides and she held the board for me.
The tire was held in by long screwy things. I touched them with my fingers and lifted.
"Comeon bitch." I coaxed
I lifted and it came out.
(apparently our baby tire was a dirty tire, who liked to be called names.)
"Yay!" Brandee cheered
We took the tire and leaned it up against the car. We moved the jack underneath. "Remember we have to put it on the metal thingy...The metal not the door. My brother told me that."
Brandee knelt and I squatted down to peek underneath.
Brandee positioned it "like...here?"
I looked "Uh...yeah?...I mean...yeah."
We surveyed the blown out tire. It was nasty. "Damn." we both murmured.
"Okay lets do this."
We put the thing in the thing and started turning the one thing that lifts the other thing.
I don't fucking know what it is. But whatever it is worked.
We were taking turns and getting it done.
"Wait. I think...wait. Doesn't the tire need to me on the ground when we take off the bolt thingies?"
"Oh fuck. Yes. Call Mandy." Brandee handed me her phone and I did just that.
"Do we leave the tire on the ground or in the air when we take off the bolt thingies?" I asked Mandy.
I wish everyone could hear Mandys voice as she calmly told me it needed to be on the ground.
I assured her that we were fine and hung up.
"Mandy is scared for us I think."
"Mandy is so scared for us. She cant come help us." Brandee confirmed
"Poor Mandy"
"Poor Mandy" Brandee echoed.
We put the tire back down and moved forward a smidge to attack the bolt thingies.
"Okay here we go." I knew that these thingies were hard to do. We took a few breaths and knelt down. As we knelt down....the rain started.
"Beanie. Its fucking raining on us. Right now." Brandee laughed and shook her head
"Of course it is."
Brandee attacked the bolt first. Her little body straining against it. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."
She huffed and puffed and pushed.
"My turn." I stated
I grabbed the metal handle and pushed.
I grunted and strained and.....my hand slipped.
"FUCK! My hands are lubey."
With the rain (and like a truly good lube) it reactivated when it got wet.
I grabbed a piece of the sheet and put it over the metal thingy. "Come on Beanie!" Brandee cheered
"MOTHER FUCKER!" I grunted
"That's okay, lets move on to another." Brandee took the metal stick, special tool and got to work.
She pushed and pulled and LOOSENED one bolt! "YAY! You did it! My turn!"
I pushed and pushed and LOOSENED one bolt! "YES! You did it! My turn!" Brandee cheered
We successfully loosened 4 of the bolts. And got back to the first one. The hard one.
She tried, then I tried, then she tried again. As she was kicking at it I flipped off a Big Rig that flew by us at high speeds.
That is what made me nervous. My brain was racking up all of the dangerous possibilities every second that we knelt on that dark, rainy gravel freeway.
"Who lives around here? We can call Juan." I stated
Brandee grunted and laughed.
"Okay...we can call Kim. Doesn't Kim live around here?"
"Yes. Why call Kim?"
"Because Kim has a boy and BOYS have TOOLS."
"No. We have to do this. we can do this beanie. Your turn."
"Okay. Your right, we can do this...come on bitch. come on bitch." I chanted while I pushed. I was afraid of breaking our only tool thingy.
I started hopping on it with my upper body. "I will rabbit it....and I'm rabbiting and I'm rabbiting and I'm rabbiting."
Brandee laughed and wiped rain off of her cheek.
"My turn" Brandee stated and knelt in front of it. "Come on BITCH." She pushed and pushed and pushed. Her juicy legs were spread out behind her. "Beanie...come...Beanie! I NEED you to look at my butt crack." She turned and presented her butt crack to me.
It looked like a perfectly formed set of boobs peeking out from a top. It was pillowed by her jeans.
"Rain is going inside of my buttcrack. AND it is cold."
She stood up and started kicking at the tool. Breathing "come on come on come on"
I looked back at the giant palm glaring at me from a half of a mile away. I turned back and stared at the black tool.
I prayed.
I just stared at the tool ( and Brandees buttcrack) and I prayed.
Our father who art in heaven...
That is as far as I got.
Brandee shouted (kinda like an orgasm) "YES!!! YES BITCH!"
She knelt back down, we unscrewed all of the bolts and we moved back to the thing holding up the car. We started raising it.
Muttering beneath our breath "righty tighty righty tighty."
I pulled at the end of the tool and bent it back. I used it as a handle to turn "Wha....your a genius!" Brandee shouted.
"Mandy taught me that."
"How do people know these things?"
"No idea."
We got the tire off and pushed the tiny one up to it. Brandee held it up and couldn't get it on. I tried and couldn't get it on. "Wait!...waitaminute!" She turned the tire around and tried again.
It went on.
I laughed. "Are you sure that is right? Lets look for writing that says THIS END UP."
We shined my cell phone on it, but saw nothing.
"Is there instructions?" I asked "I feel like there should be instructions."
We rubbed at the tire and looked. But alas no.
"Men don't look for directions." Brandee answered "This is it. It fits into the wheel well."
We screwed back on the bolt thingies and lowered it back down.
"WE DID IT!" Brandee cheered
I cheered too! "Mandy is going to be so proud of us!"
Brandee called Mandy she stated that she was proud of us and we started home. It took FOEEEEEEVERRRRRRRrrrrrr (Brooklynn style) because we were driving so slow.
"You know you sound just like her when you whine like that." Brandee dryly stated.
"I know. But it just lets you know that I mean it."
Right before we hit my exit......we heard a noise.
"I HEAR A NOISE AGAIN!"
"Oh...are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Brandee shouted
"Lets pull over. What if the tire is about to pop off. I don't want the tire to pop off Brandee, I bet the tire is ABOUT to POP OFF!"
"No...no...lets pull over into a well lit street and check."
We did. The tire was almost flat.
We laughed. And filled it up at the nearest gas station.
As I was walking back to the car, my once gorgeous hair was pulled up in a knot at the back of my head. The spanks were creeping down my legs and settling around my thighs .....and my DRESS? ....I don't even want to talk about how my perfectly cut 3/4 sleeved polky-dotted dress looked.
When Brandee dropped me off at my house I thanked her for coming with me to my consultation/tire tragedy, we gave each other a sloppy high five and we both decided to invent a spare, where instructions were printed ON the tire.
(The one I scheduled while guiltily looking at my daughter the week prior)
Now, before you picture me being a hooker on the side of the road on a dark, damp Saturday evening, let me explain just WHAT a private consult IS.
A private consult is where I go to the home of a person who is too shy, too busy or too excited to show their significant other...my products.
Maybe they do not want to tread into Suzie's in the rain (Great Idea, because I come with instructions, demonstrations and lube.)
Maybe, like my consult on Saturday evening, their husband wanted to see too.
So, after shopping and lunching all day with Emma, Brandee and Mandy, I showered... threw on some spanks and (an AMAZING) polka dotted dress and headed out the door.
My consult went very well. I sold products, the couple was amazing and we were headed home. Happy that it was so early.
Then....we heard a noise.
"I hear a noise." I sputtered.
Brandee turned down the radio and listened.
It wasn't a typical noise. It was a weird noise. "Maybe it is just the road. You know the roads are weird out here."
I nodded, but my stomach was nervous and Brandee was listening intently.
"Lets pull over and check it out."
We pulled into a well lit area and got out of the car. I held my cellphone up to the tires and only hesitated at one. We both stared at it and looked closer. I put my foot on it and pressed, checking the air with the bottom of my heel.
It seemed fine to me.
"I cant believe that you just kicked your heel up to check the tire." Brandee laughed as we buckled ourselves back in.
"Well. I had to check."
We both felt better about life after our 'all knowing cell phone/high heel check' .
We got on the freeway.
After about a mile the sound got louder.
"something's wrong." I stated
"Something is definitely wrong. Lets get off at the next exit."
Brandee slowed down and hit the hazards. The car jerked "Yep, there goes the tire."
"Oh shit." I surveyed the area and we were nowhere near an exit.
In fact. We were no where near an area that was safe to pull over.
We kept going, very slowly until we saw gravel.
"Pull over as far as you can"
"I am."
I reached into the backseat and grabbed my flip-flops. Kicking off my reds I slipped them on and jumped out. Cellphone light ready.
We surveyed the tires and sure enough, it was the front right one that we had given a second look.
"Fuck."
"Fuck." I echoed
Now.
Normally we would call Mandy and Mandy would come save us. NORMALLY we would get into the car and wait out the hour by checking Facebook and lamenting our bad luck.
That was not a possibility.
Mandy was at home in Modesto with no car.
WE were on the side of the road in Atwater. Right next to a palm reader.
"We can do this Beanie." Brandee stated
"Of course we can." I answered
She called Mandy and popped the trunk. We started emptying the stuff out to get to the spare.
Brandee found a sheet and she put it by the tire "Look. Juan did this, so will we."
I laughed and snorted "Do we have rubber gloves?"
"No. we don't need rubber gloves" She laughed back at me
We found the tire underneath a felt covered board. Brandee propped the board up with her head while she touched a round thing that was holding the tire in.
"What is this? Wha....what do I do?"
I grabbed the board and held it up for her. Peeking inside.
It was a plastic circle.
She started turning it. "Lefty loosey" she muttered while spinning it.
It came loose.
"Yay!" I cheered
She grabbed the small baby tire and lifted "Arrrrgh!"
The tire plunked back down.
She tried again.
"Huuuuuuuh!" she grunted as she tried to lift it. Half of her body slipped inside the trunk I SWEAR.
I gulped down a giggle.
"My turn." I stated
We switched sides and she held the board for me.
The tire was held in by long screwy things. I touched them with my fingers and lifted.
"Comeon bitch." I coaxed
I lifted and it came out.
(apparently our baby tire was a dirty tire, who liked to be called names.)
"Yay!" Brandee cheered
We took the tire and leaned it up against the car. We moved the jack underneath. "Remember we have to put it on the metal thingy...The metal not the door. My brother told me that."
Brandee knelt and I squatted down to peek underneath.
Brandee positioned it "like...here?"
I looked "Uh...yeah?...I mean...yeah."
We surveyed the blown out tire. It was nasty. "Damn." we both murmured.
"Okay lets do this."
We put the thing in the thing and started turning the one thing that lifts the other thing.
I don't fucking know what it is. But whatever it is worked.
We were taking turns and getting it done.
"Wait. I think...wait. Doesn't the tire need to me on the ground when we take off the bolt thingies?"
"Oh fuck. Yes. Call Mandy." Brandee handed me her phone and I did just that.
"Do we leave the tire on the ground or in the air when we take off the bolt thingies?" I asked Mandy.
I wish everyone could hear Mandys voice as she calmly told me it needed to be on the ground.
I assured her that we were fine and hung up.
"Mandy is scared for us I think."
"Mandy is so scared for us. She cant come help us." Brandee confirmed
"Poor Mandy"
"Poor Mandy" Brandee echoed.
We put the tire back down and moved forward a smidge to attack the bolt thingies.
"Okay here we go." I knew that these thingies were hard to do. We took a few breaths and knelt down. As we knelt down....the rain started.
"Beanie. Its fucking raining on us. Right now." Brandee laughed and shook her head
"Of course it is."
Brandee attacked the bolt first. Her little body straining against it. "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck."
She huffed and puffed and pushed.
"My turn." I stated
I grabbed the metal handle and pushed.
I grunted and strained and.....my hand slipped.
"FUCK! My hands are lubey."
With the rain (and like a truly good lube) it reactivated when it got wet.
I grabbed a piece of the sheet and put it over the metal thingy. "Come on Beanie!" Brandee cheered
"MOTHER FUCKER!" I grunted
"That's okay, lets move on to another." Brandee took the metal stick, special tool and got to work.
She pushed and pulled and LOOSENED one bolt! "YAY! You did it! My turn!"
I pushed and pushed and LOOSENED one bolt! "YES! You did it! My turn!" Brandee cheered
We successfully loosened 4 of the bolts. And got back to the first one. The hard one.
She tried, then I tried, then she tried again. As she was kicking at it I flipped off a Big Rig that flew by us at high speeds.
That is what made me nervous. My brain was racking up all of the dangerous possibilities every second that we knelt on that dark, rainy gravel freeway.
"Who lives around here? We can call Juan." I stated
Brandee grunted and laughed.
"Okay...we can call Kim. Doesn't Kim live around here?"
"Yes. Why call Kim?"
"Because Kim has a boy and BOYS have TOOLS."
"No. We have to do this. we can do this beanie. Your turn."
"Okay. Your right, we can do this...come on bitch. come on bitch." I chanted while I pushed. I was afraid of breaking our only tool thingy.
I started hopping on it with my upper body. "I will rabbit it....and I'm rabbiting and I'm rabbiting and I'm rabbiting."
Brandee laughed and wiped rain off of her cheek.
"My turn" Brandee stated and knelt in front of it. "Come on BITCH." She pushed and pushed and pushed. Her juicy legs were spread out behind her. "Beanie...come...Beanie! I NEED you to look at my butt crack." She turned and presented her butt crack to me.
It looked like a perfectly formed set of boobs peeking out from a top. It was pillowed by her jeans.
"Rain is going inside of my buttcrack. AND it is cold."
She stood up and started kicking at the tool. Breathing "come on come on come on"
I looked back at the giant palm glaring at me from a half of a mile away. I turned back and stared at the black tool.
I prayed.
I just stared at the tool ( and Brandees buttcrack) and I prayed.
Our father who art in heaven...
That is as far as I got.
Brandee shouted (kinda like an orgasm) "YES!!! YES BITCH!"
She knelt back down, we unscrewed all of the bolts and we moved back to the thing holding up the car. We started raising it.
Muttering beneath our breath "righty tighty righty tighty."
I pulled at the end of the tool and bent it back. I used it as a handle to turn "Wha....your a genius!" Brandee shouted.
"Mandy taught me that."
"How do people know these things?"
"No idea."
We got the tire off and pushed the tiny one up to it. Brandee held it up and couldn't get it on. I tried and couldn't get it on. "Wait!...waitaminute!" She turned the tire around and tried again.
It went on.
I laughed. "Are you sure that is right? Lets look for writing that says THIS END UP."
We shined my cell phone on it, but saw nothing.
"Is there instructions?" I asked "I feel like there should be instructions."
We rubbed at the tire and looked. But alas no.
"Men don't look for directions." Brandee answered "This is it. It fits into the wheel well."
We screwed back on the bolt thingies and lowered it back down.
"WE DID IT!" Brandee cheered
I cheered too! "Mandy is going to be so proud of us!"
Brandee called Mandy she stated that she was proud of us and we started home. It took FOEEEEEEVERRRRRRRrrrrrr (Brooklynn style) because we were driving so slow.
"You know you sound just like her when you whine like that." Brandee dryly stated.
"I know. But it just lets you know that I mean it."
Right before we hit my exit......we heard a noise.
"I HEAR A NOISE AGAIN!"
"Oh...are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Brandee shouted
"Lets pull over. What if the tire is about to pop off. I don't want the tire to pop off Brandee, I bet the tire is ABOUT to POP OFF!"
"No...no...lets pull over into a well lit street and check."
We did. The tire was almost flat.
We laughed. And filled it up at the nearest gas station.
As I was walking back to the car, my once gorgeous hair was pulled up in a knot at the back of my head. The spanks were creeping down my legs and settling around my thighs .....and my DRESS? ....I don't even want to talk about how my perfectly cut 3/4 sleeved polky-dotted dress looked.
When Brandee dropped me off at my house I thanked her for coming with me to my consultation/tire tragedy, we gave each other a sloppy high five and we both decided to invent a spare, where instructions were printed ON the tire.
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Slinging.
Most nights I fall into bed, and I swear that my eyes close before my head hits my mound of pillows. (5 of them to be exact)
I started slinging again in January. And now I have a steady stream of party goers and hostesses (Thank God!)
I started selling passion products again because I was in a dilemma.
My dilemma was quite simple and quite annoying.
I was broke. And I was tired of it.
So it came down to about a month of hard thinking and decision making. I could either attend college and get a degree of some sort, which would end with me quitting my job. (And boredom)
I could quit my job and find something closer. But again...there's the job quitting thing and I sort of love where I work.
I could go on welfare and collect some sort of money or food stamps, which, while I have no problem with welfare done right....This was the last option for me.
I am raising my kids on my own. And I want to DO it on my own. I simply don't want threats of my house being sold out from under me while doing so.
I was in a quandary.
A Pickle.
A standstill.
That was when I got asked to sling...again.
I knew I was good at it when I did it last, and like my day job I love it. I have a passion for it.
But when would I have time? How could I do this?
"Can I do this?" I asked Brandee during our morning walk
"I really think you can Beanie. You can do it, you will just have to schedule everything...like...very well."
"Okay. Okay I will try."
And so I have been.
Two weeks ago found me with parties scheduled on Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night.
All in a row.
I brought clothes with me and changed in the Twos bathroom, whipping off my Buhach Apron and throwing on a striped dress and shrug. My compact I balanced on the diaper shelf while I applied thick eyeliner and whisked on mascara.
"Beanie...Beanie...what are you putting on your eyes?" Nico asked me, curiously talking to my reflection as my mouth contorted and I applied the thick black stuff.
"Its mascara Nico."
"Oh. Does that hurt your eyes?"
"No."
"What does it do? Is it like batman?"
"Yes. Exactly like batman."
He shrugged and walked away to finish the snack I had layed out for the remaining children at the center.
The next three nights had me falling into bed next to my already softly snoring daughter. I would kiss her cheek or hold her hand or touch her hair as I fell into a coma that was never long enough.
Only to snap awake again as my phone ordered me to "Wake the fuck up" at 5:30 the next morning.
So far I love it.
I especially loved it when I sent my mortgage in earlier then I had too, and bought Emma the kick ass backpack from Hot topic.
"Mom I feel really bad that you spent that much on me."
"Stop it. This is why I work two jobs. Just exactly for this. To be able to do this."
I smiled and so did she.
Once a month I decided to take a whole weekend off for Emma. This was one of them. I was then asked to do a private consult for a couple.
"Can you come Sunday?"
"No I am sorry I have a wedding and I am booked up until April."
"How about Saturday. Saturday night?"
I was just about to deny her again when ..."Please? And we will have cash." scrolled across my messenger.
I sighed, checked my calendar and replied with "I have you scheduled for a consult from 8-9 on Saturday evening."
Guiltily.
I felt guilty.
I hope that I can keep up with this. I hope that it ends up as successful as I feel it will become. I hope.
Because I don't have anyone else to do this for me. Just me.
I have no one else to buy Emma Zombie shirts and put her on the path of amazing. Just me.
So until I become the highest paid person to ever teach pre-k, this is where I will be.
Slinging.
I started slinging again in January. And now I have a steady stream of party goers and hostesses (Thank God!)
I started selling passion products again because I was in a dilemma.
My dilemma was quite simple and quite annoying.
I was broke. And I was tired of it.
So it came down to about a month of hard thinking and decision making. I could either attend college and get a degree of some sort, which would end with me quitting my job. (And boredom)
I could quit my job and find something closer. But again...there's the job quitting thing and I sort of love where I work.
I could go on welfare and collect some sort of money or food stamps, which, while I have no problem with welfare done right....This was the last option for me.
I am raising my kids on my own. And I want to DO it on my own. I simply don't want threats of my house being sold out from under me while doing so.
I was in a quandary.
A Pickle.
A standstill.
That was when I got asked to sling...again.
I knew I was good at it when I did it last, and like my day job I love it. I have a passion for it.
But when would I have time? How could I do this?
"Can I do this?" I asked Brandee during our morning walk
"I really think you can Beanie. You can do it, you will just have to schedule everything...like...very well."
"Okay. Okay I will try."
And so I have been.
Two weeks ago found me with parties scheduled on Thursday night, Friday night and Saturday night.
All in a row.
I brought clothes with me and changed in the Twos bathroom, whipping off my Buhach Apron and throwing on a striped dress and shrug. My compact I balanced on the diaper shelf while I applied thick eyeliner and whisked on mascara.
"Beanie...Beanie...what are you putting on your eyes?" Nico asked me, curiously talking to my reflection as my mouth contorted and I applied the thick black stuff.
"Its mascara Nico."
"Oh. Does that hurt your eyes?"
"No."
"What does it do? Is it like batman?"
"Yes. Exactly like batman."
He shrugged and walked away to finish the snack I had layed out for the remaining children at the center.
The next three nights had me falling into bed next to my already softly snoring daughter. I would kiss her cheek or hold her hand or touch her hair as I fell into a coma that was never long enough.
Only to snap awake again as my phone ordered me to "Wake the fuck up" at 5:30 the next morning.
So far I love it.
I especially loved it when I sent my mortgage in earlier then I had too, and bought Emma the kick ass backpack from Hot topic.
"Mom I feel really bad that you spent that much on me."
"Stop it. This is why I work two jobs. Just exactly for this. To be able to do this."
I smiled and so did she.
Once a month I decided to take a whole weekend off for Emma. This was one of them. I was then asked to do a private consult for a couple.
"Can you come Sunday?"
"No I am sorry I have a wedding and I am booked up until April."
"How about Saturday. Saturday night?"
I was just about to deny her again when ..."Please? And we will have cash." scrolled across my messenger.
I sighed, checked my calendar and replied with "I have you scheduled for a consult from 8-9 on Saturday evening."
Guiltily.
I felt guilty.
I hope that I can keep up with this. I hope that it ends up as successful as I feel it will become. I hope.
Because I don't have anyone else to do this for me. Just me.
I have no one else to buy Emma Zombie shirts and put her on the path of amazing. Just me.
So until I become the highest paid person to ever teach pre-k, this is where I will be.
Slinging.
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