FUCK this drought!

I am sitting on my couch, drinking my coffee when the news flashes.
It practically screams at me. "The heat returns." and I want to cut a bitch.

I cant handle this anymore, I am about to snap.

As far as I am concerned EVERYTHING is the drought fault.

Sicknesses that are everywhere. THE DROUGHT.

My hair wont curl the same.....drought.

My stomach hurting....HELLO??? My body is OBVIOUSLY reacting to the drought!


Insane murder massacres? The drought finally got to them. I cant blame them, I am about to loose it my self.

I may be slightly obsessed with it. OBVIOUSLY the end is nigh. Buy bottled water bitches, because zombism is caused by the drought. People will start to go mad and end up eating each others face off because they DARED to water their grass too long.

I will be patient ZERO and Brandees neighbor is on my face eating list.

Her grass is shiny and deep green, mostly because she waters it until water is trickling in the street as I drive up. "OHMYGOD!! LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE!" I yell at 5:45 am

I hate her and I have never seen her. Just wait bitch. When the world ends I am going all kindsa PURGE on you....everyone will understand.

Last week when I purchased a flat of water Emma's Eyebrows raised "What are we buying this for? You love our water."

"UM HELLO! Drought!! The world is ending child. It is obvious that everyone is going to turn into Zombies and we will need water in bottles."

"You bought end of the world water?"

"Uh huh" I nod
"Okay ma."

"Laugh now, thank me later honky."

I think I am starting to scare people "Beanie I HAD to put water in my bird bath. Birds need water. There is a drought." Mandy stated to me a few weeks ago.

I nod and turn my glare to her neighbor across the street. PURGE BITCH. I think...and then I smile.

At the first sign of rain last week I was exiting the Dollar General with Brandee prior to work and I screamed at the top of my lungs "ITS RAINING!!!!!!"

I spread my arms and jumped up and down. I spun in a circle and felt the world become whole again! People slowed down and stared at me. Whatever. I don't care if it was only 7 drops of the stuff.

Not only is the world ending from the drought and the effects there of, but this heat is killing my fall wardrobe.
For instance, I have the most lovely dress that cannot be worn until the temperatures decline.

NOW the heat has gotten between myself and my lovely dress.

It is all down hill from there bitches.