Family.

It is so sad to me that the family dinners have gone.
That I am holding new traditions with my children and my once huge family has shrunk to minuscule size?
It is sad. So sad.

Grandma and Grandpa were the center of our family. They were the bond that held us together. Just what would my life have been like without them? Where would I have gone to cry out my woes of teenage-hood.
Who else would have given me a pall mall non filter to smoke and a cup of joe to sip, if not for my grandma?

I remember the excitement that I used to get when My aunt and cousins would come up to stay. Uncle Errol would wake earlier then us all and go off to fish.

Grandma and Aunty Lois would be in the kitchen, when i woke, frying up some deliciously bad for you breakfast and grandpa would have his cribbage board on the ready....shining and whistling...ready for the next grandchild that would be his willing (or unwilling) opponent.

My cousins and I would play in the game room and make up dances to old songs. We would color or watch tv. We rarely bothered the adults..we were too busy teasing our hair or giggeling about crushes.

It was my grandmother who taught me to sew. It was my aunt who patiently bathed Shane and instructed me on the cleaning of a newborn...There on grandmas round table by the fireplace.

My nightly chat with Melanie caused us both sadness. Her grandparents were her rock as well.

Here I sit...with my teeny family. Wondering why there are no more family dinners.
My cousin and I try to keep in touch, but the family hasn't all gotten together since my fathers funeral.

Which...in itself is sad.

I find myself planning Holiday dinners with Melanie and her family, just to stretch my family arms a bit.

I watch large families together and jelousy arises inside of me.

That is what life is all about. Family. Dinners. Smiles. Laughter. Kids dancing. Kids fighting. Tears shed....only to do it again.

My family is small...but perfect. But I cannot help but want to reach my arms out and grab my sister, who i rarely talk to anymore, closer.

I want to visit my cousin and laugh with my aunt.

Ah...but time...How do we find the time?

We just do.

I will try my best, this Easter to hold a laughing, happy Easter feast. With egg hunts and all of my loved ones near. Dawn, Jesse, ma and Donald. Aunty lois and uncle Errol, Matthew and Jen. My babies. My sister. My nephew.

My normal family and my new crazy one.

As I get older. I yearn most...for family.

The single best part of my childhood.