Sickness.

Each day you wake, it is a blessing. An answered prayer. A wish come true.
At first death presents itself encased in hope.
We can beat this.
We can pray.
We will tithe and we will promise.
We will kneel until we bleed and clasps hands until they shake.
We will whisper words to the world. We will run, hike, walk jog and hope for a cure. We will drown our bodies in pink and pronounce to the world that we believe.
This is nothing.
This is another mountain to climb, another page of our story.

Death follows us all.
Its presence is prayed against and sometimes wished for.
Some seek it, and others do whatever they can to run from it.
But in the end, and AT the end. It comes.
Not always fast. Not always painless.

Until your mind is wracked with memories that aren't even your own.
Each spasm of pain, and incessant beep of the heart monitor is a curse. A wish denied.

Hush.
Hush surrounds you. Hushed words and hushed prayers. Daughters and sons, lovers and doctors speak around you.
They whisper while you sleep.
You can hear them cry. You can see it in your daughters face. In the strength that she projects.
 It is false.
And you know it.
 But you pretend, just like you did when she was small and was frightened.

You were too. But you pretended to be strong.

You want to wipe her face with your hands and let her believe that everything is okay. You smile when you want to grimace.

You hold your grandchildren against your heart and pray that they will remember the feel of you.
You want to be healthy for them. You smile for them. You pose for pictures and travel for them. So they have memories of you in these places.

You regret your mistakes and are thankful for the memories you leave behind.
You don't want your family to fall apart. You want to disappear quietly into the night, while they sleep and love and dream.
You pray for it.

You are helpless to it.
We all are.
It will come and slide its fingers into the heart of every single one of us.
But where there is death, there is also life.

Your laugh will live on in the throat of your grandson. The shape and tilt of your eyes will smile again in your daughter.
Your life lessons will always be in the hearts of your family.
Every day they will remember you, Babies will dream of you and their life will forever be changed because you were a part of it.