"Do you WANT to go?" I asked her, putting clothes onto fat plastic hangers.
"YES!"
"Why do you want to go so badly?" I smiled
"Because it's like....love and happiness. Everyone there is so happy. Its like Halloween, but with rainbows."
I laughed and enjoyed her witticism greatly.
"Besides, we have to support the Gay community mom. Brandee and Mandy? Hello!? They are our family."
"Brandee and Mandy only go to Gay Pride day because WE make THEM go."
"Still." she shrugged and chased Karma down the hallway.
So it was a date, and I informed Brandee and Mandy of it later that week.
Mandy just said "ooOOOhhhkay."
Brandee said "Sure...waitaminute...are we broke that week? Is that...Is it payday weekend? We're broke every single year at Pride. What are we going to eat? wha...what if we are broke. If we have no money that will suck. I mean....right? Don't you think it will suck?" (Brandee talks a lot)
On the day of Pride I woke up late, and went to my closet du jour to pick out something gay worthy. I decided that my rainbow zebra dress that Mandy and Brandee had bought me for mothers day was perfect.
Emma chose an all black outfit topped with her rainbow tie that she had bout at pride 3 years prior. Mandy taught her how to tie her tie.
We made sandwiches and packed them in a cooler.
The day was gorgeous. Overcast with a crisp feel to the air. We all piled in Mandy's car and headed over. I was excited to see the mass wedding, but we were late-ish.
"Do you think I missed the wedding?" I said antsily from the backseat
"We'll see." came from the front.
"I REEEEEALLY wanted to be a flower girl to the mass gay wedding and chuck flowers at them."
"OoooOOOOoooh" From Mandy
"I wanted to prance and sing too." I mumbled
Brandee laughed and Emma patted my arm.
We parked and got out of the car. There..in the cement were the words HI LORI
I gasped
"What?!" Brandee jumped
"The sidewalk is talking to me." I tried to say this without moving my lips.
"Oh look it does say Hi to you. Lets move." Brandee bossily said.
We walked down the street and pointed to a Victorian house. "That's beautiful!" said Brandee
"That's creepy!" screeched me
Mandy carried the cooler with our sandwiches and Emma ran off to climb the play structure, because us old people walked too slow.
As we approached the Park, we saw rainbow curtains hanging off of the Dome. And a huge white tent. "I missed the wedding! The mass wedding of Gays! I miiiiiiiissed it!"
"Well Beanie, we are late so....Let's eat!" Brandee walked up ahead of us on a small hill. We met her at the top and surveyed the people.
"It looks empty." I pouted. But there WAS a girl swinging rainbow socks.
"Well." Stated Brandee, as she sat down on the cement."I'm hungry...im huuuuungry. Can I have my sandwhich?"
As we ate our lunch, perched ontop of the same hill we always eat on, we people watched. We saw rainbow tails on some people and cute Pride t-shirts on others. We took turns saying "I want that one."
"I want that one."
"I like that one."
I saw a fluffly lady (And by fluffy I mean fat) wearing an entire leopard skin tight jumpsuit. I could see ripples and bumps. I could not help it.
Now don't get me wrong. I am a huge fat people supporter as well as gay people supporter. I am however NOT a fan of leopard stretched over all of it.
We all stared as she walked by (Except Emma. She is too polite)
"Where's my camera" I whispered.
"why?" Brandee wrinkled her nose at me. "You are NOT going to take a picture of that."
"I am I AM! I want to snap a picture, send it to Juan and tell him I'm wearing that to work on Monday." This made me laugh manically.
I love making myself laugh....ahhhh. It is the BEST thing ever. (besides sex)
I pictured that he would open up the attachment and immediately drop his phone, wipe his hands onto his wife, who would instantly smack him in his greying head. The thought of Wife beating him...makes me happy...
But alas. The rumply buttocks walked away before I could capture it on film. I pouted for a minute before sinking my teeth in for another bite of turkey and avocado sandwich.
Soon enough lunch was done, Emma wanted to explore the booths and games and Brandee turned into Gay Girl...
After that, Brandee and Mandy walked slowly, holding hands.
It was cute.
It had just started to sprinkle when I noticed cute rainbow bubbled floating across a sign. THE RAINBOW PAGES....I head over.
"Hello" I smile and curiously look over the table. "Can you tell me what your business is about?"
"Sure! We are pretty much like the yellow pages, but each and every business and company are LGBT Friendly."
"That is awesome! Are the businesses in this book run by someone who is a part of the LGBT community?"
"Noooo." He laughs "They are just friendly twords our community and value us as customers and community members"
"I see. Are there any preschools in your book?"
"Actually no, unfortunately not yet."
"Ahhh. Well WE value the LGBT money...er members. Can you tell me how to get in that rainbow book, how much it is and may I have one to show my beast...er boss?"
"Of course!"
As cards were being exchanged, Brandee comes up behind me "BEANIE! We were dancing in the rain and YOU MISSED IT."
The light sprinkle then turned to light rain.
We headed over to the HRC (Human Rights Campaign)
"Hello!" I said. I feel like the HRC and I are BFF's since they show up in my facebook feed each and every day.
"Hello!" They said back. Just as cheery. "Are you members of HRC?"
"We're not" Brandee stated "But she is" she nodded twords me and stepped back. I am so happy to be surrounded by a cause that I wholeheartedly support.
And that is when I see.....THIS:
"I love this and I want this. It is the cutest thing EVER."
The man laughed and we chatted back and forth. By this time the light rain had turned into a light MONSOON.
"Um." Brandee murmured
"Um." I murmered
"Uh." Mandy stated
"Lets go over twords that flag!" Emma yelled
At that moment the light monsoon turned into a heavy one and while Emma stood at a table admiring rainbow bracelets and stickers, Mandy provided us with somewhat of a shelter...
I took my phone out of my damp purse and screamed above the downpour..."I NEED TO CAPTURE MEMORIES!!!"
Everyone complied....
"HERE HERE COME OUT OF THE RAIN!" we hear from the left of us. We all ran beneath a tent , the whole time I was trying to hide my phone in folds of fat to keep it dry-ish
Under the tent we found the gay Braveheart. He was bejeweled. He wore a kilt. I loved him.
I looked at the table, picked up a flyer and shoved it into his hand. "Can I take your picture with your holding this while the monsoon rains on all of the gays?"
"Sure!"
After exactly 1 minute, Emma shivering and the rain just pouring down even harder, we decided that it was time to give up the ghost, and run the 3 blocks back to the car.
We put our cellular devices into the cooler and headed out into the rain.
Brandee and I slipped all over and screamed. Mandy just made a bee line and Emma insisted that she carry the cooler because "If Mandy carried it all the way there, she shouldn't have to carry it back."
"Whatever." Brandee and I both shrugged "As long as we don't have to carry it.
About a block into the walk we ran into rain twerkers. It made me happy, but my mascara was running into my eyeballs by then. I shouted to Brandee "Do I look pretty?" She laughed and kept moving.
About a block and a half into the walk we were soaked to our vaginas and Brandee turned to me and stomped her foot. She held a sopping wet sheet over her head that was once our shelter, but now just dripped onto Brandees already soaking shirt.
I laughed so hard at her that I snotted, but no one noticed because the rain washed it away and then came back and bitch slapped me for the hell of it.
"This is YOUR FAULT!" Brandee stomped her foot. "YOU MADE US SUPPORT THE GAYS!"
"You are horrible." I grumbled
"I am NOT. I AM WET!"
"You should support your gays"
"NO. I should be DRY! Mandyyyyyyyyy Beanie made us support the gays and now we are weeeeet!"
"MANDYYYYYY Brandy is whining at me!"
"MANDYYYYY My feeeeeet are slippingggggg everywhere...and....wait...why is she walking so fast."
"Because you guys are whining. Don't whine. Im outta here too!" And Emma ran to catch up with Mandy.
We walked in silence for a few seconds, trying to dodge the huge puddles.
"Brandeeeeee my feet are soaked."
"Beaaaaaanie I can't walk fast enough."
"Why did Mandy leave us."
"She is mean."
"I love you only."
Finally we got to the car. Brandee and I sounded like two whiney bitches while Mandy unlocked the car. I took out her ARMY hat and plopped it on my head.
"Im COOOOOOOLD!" Brandee and I both said.
"Working on it." Mandy muttered while her fingers were busy pushing heating controls.
We drove and Brandee shivered."Im cold."
We drove and Emma sang.
We drove and I muttered "I missed the gay mass wedding."
"You both are a bunch of whiney bitches." Mandy stated. While she tried to get the heat vents to point at us.
I believe she was turning it on SO high so that the hot air would go into our mouths and shut them up, but...whatever.
Emma laughed.
Brandee and I pouted.
When we got to Brandees house we ran inside and Mandy threw clothes at me.
I smiled."I love you only." I whispered to her
"I love you too."
We spent the rest of the day on the couch, snuggeled in our jammies listening to the rain and watching movie.
I may not have been there for the mass gay wedding, but I ended my Gay Day with my two very favorite ones in the whole world.
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