"I am going to work next week." I announced at dinnertime. Everyone just stared at me.
Emma took a bite of her food, Mandy lifted her eyebrow and Brandee tilted her head.
Shane on the other hand shook his head "No you're not."
"Yes I am!" I argued
"No you are not. You are not healed. You're staying home."
"I can't son." I shook my head and took a bite of dinner. I felt tears prickle at my eyes like little stinging bitches.
"Yes you can, and in fact you will."
My mouth hung open and I stared at him. And in all honesty I did not have the energy or strength to argue with him.... Or smack him.
"I HAVE to go back to work son, I cannot afford to stay home. We need money. I have bills, I will just sit theeeeeeeere!"
My insistence was turning into whining. Mostly because I could see that my general fatigue and weenie-ness was losing to Shane's manly steel decision.
I hate discussing money with my children, but the fact was. I needed it and it was the one more argument to win me my vote.
"I have mortgage to pay for, food, groceries and gas. There is nobody else that is around to pay for this stuff Shane. Only me. Just like normal. Are YOU going to pay for it? No."
"YES. Yes I will. and you will stay home."
"YOU are the child and I am the adult." I said to him.
"Then maybe YOU should act like it then. You can be mad at me if you want. That's okay, I understand. Go ahead. But you ARE staying home until you are healed. That's it."
And he picked up his fork and continued to eat his dinner.
I looked at Brandee and she shrugged, Mandy patted Shane on the shoulder and whispered "Good boy" and Emma said "I agree with Shane mom."
"FINE!" I huffed. Completely defeated. (and exhausted)
I knew that my body wasn't ready to go back to work. But I also KNEW I couldn't take two more weeks off of ONE of my jobs, let alone BOTH.
"We will figure everything out Beanie. Don't worry." Brandee said as I lay down on the couch.
Flash forward to a week ago....
I was standing at my countertop oven and wondering in confusion why my sons birthday cake was burning.
I sniffed the air again....and peeked inside.
It has been awhile since I have baked.
A long while, and apparently I forgot that when you bake things...they expand.
"OH NO!" I screeched to Karma. (She sat on my feet)
Shane's birthday cake was burning and I almost started to cry. (I say almost because I still thought I could fix it.)
I was broke and in fact has used 7 of the 10 bucks that I had left to my name to but the carrot cake ingredients.
I pulled out the pan and stared at it. I decided that I could scrape off half of it and finnish baking the rest.
I tried it.
It was ugly.
How sad.
I text Brandee : "I am the worst mom ever. I burned Shane's cake! There is only one box left!'
I then contemplated my chances of executing a pretty carrot cake with only one box of carrot cake mix while I dipped the remains of the ugly cake in frosting and munched on it.
During the month that I had been home, I had taken to talking to Karma ...A LOT.
"Know what Karma?"
She twitched and wagged her ass back and forth simply because I said her name. THAT to me means that she said "What mama."
"I am eating my sons birthday cake while contemplating how to fix it." I said matter of factly while staring at her.
Now Karma thought it was a GREAT idea, but I thought it was morally wrong, so I dunked another piece in frosting, stuffed it in my mouth and dumped the rest in her bowl.
"I hope you understand that I will blame you if anyone ever asks."
She wagged her tail and then flopped on the ground. Obviously saying to me that she agreed whole heartedly.
"Good. I am glad you realize this." I leaned down and petted her belly then went to figure out how to execute a birthday cake, with Brandee.....of course.
In the end. It worked. I baked them at brandees house and frosted them the next day. I was redeemed and no one EVER asked Karma about the OTHER birthday cake.
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