"Can you wipe my butt?" ....A Pre-K conversation

 



"Hey."

"Hey." I nod back

"Can you wipe my butt?"

"No. But you can."

"No. I definitely can't."

I am standing at the half door of my classroom bathroom.

"I cant either, there is a clause in my contract that strictly prohibits me from wiping the butts of little boys who can build bumble bee replicas out of Legos."

"Oh."

I wait a minute and let his mind work on that one.

"Well I don't want to." He piped up after a minute or so.

"I see. Well I don't want to either. So what should we do?"

His shoulders sank and he kicked his feet.

"Let me go check my contract" I disappeared for a moment.


In my classroom there is a mysterious contract that I bring up and use in some instances like:

"Ms.BEANIEEEEEEE She wont play with me, can you make her?"

"Nope. That is not in my contract, however you can ask Lunden nicely, she is all alone over there and I bet she would like to play with you."

or

"My mommy says you HAVE to do what I say."

"Sorry kid, doing what you say is most DEFENETLY not in my contract. Your mommy is out of luck."

See? It is quite helpful...but back to the kid on the pot...



"Okay, I checked my contract and we have two options."

"Okay." he says, quite seriously.

"You can NOT wipe your butt, but then you will smell like poop and a poop cloud will follow you around and people might actually CALL you poop cloud, which is not going to help with the ladies."

"That's not good."

"No. The second option is that YOU wipe your butt because, after all, it is yours. But that I should teach you because I am your teacher, and that's kinda what I do."

"Let's do that."

So we do.

5 minutes later he washes his hands with "Copious amounts of soap" and joins his friends at the Lego table.
"Hey guess what guys! I wiped my butt!"

"Cooooool" His friends say.

I guess when you are four, wiping your own butt is pretty awesome and it makes me wonder how long that lasts.

I will try and impress my own friends with my butt wiping skills promptly.