My sister and I are opposites.
This is something that we have always known.
I always say that she sucked up all of the Portuguese and left the Irish for me.
As we grew up our lives took different paths and it finds us at either end of the spectrum.
We both have an incredible zealous passion for our careers. And we speak about them with conviction and intensity while we are together.
We joke that I Deal in creating human beings, while she Deals with putting them to rest.
She is a Mortician, and half of the time I cannot bear the stories that she has to tell.
"Stop. I cant handle this." I mutter at her
"Sorry sister." she replies, but she never has a choice in the matter. She doesn't get to choose which death she has to handle. There is no accepting of one in trade for another.
This morning her words appeared in my FEED. And I simply HAD to share them:
THERE ARE NO UGLY CHILDREN
A few months ago, I found myself a bottle of Grey Goose down into a weekend bender. I don't really have a habit of drinking but there are some cases that I need "help" with when I am off call and I have time to think.
I always need help with the kids.
This particular case was a 3 year old girl. She died in a rollover.
It was the heaviest 35 lbs I have ever felt in my life. A 400 lb case is a piece of cake compared to this one.
I cried over her body. Her Mother was annihilated emotionally. Gone. Nothing left of this mothers soul at that moment. Void of everything but pain.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I don't have the luxury of emotional ignorance. I wanted to write and tell you what I see.
I see these posts OFTEN: "Click share if you have a beautiful daughter". "Click share if you have a handsome son".
I am positive that there are many that see these posts and spring in to tears, probably with the thought of "I used to". And they get to go through the grieving process all over again, resentful that someone is throwing it in their faces that their daughter or son met an untimely end.
Grief doesn't make sense. Grief is very personal.
Anything anyone says or does when someone is grieving, can be seen or taken as very personal.
There is no method to the madness.
The mother of the 3 year old little girl has a facebook. I am positive that those posts hurt her heart. I am positive that with the holidays right around the corner, she especially hates these posts.
"It's Daughter week!" Great! Again. like it was 2 weeks ago (I'm fairly sure that some of these posters make that shit up whenever the mood of that week hits them)
"It's Son week!" Nice. Again. Like someone on facebook told me it was last week.
Why is there even a son week or a daughter week? I don't get it. I just imagine loving them every day is probably best.
But I digress.
Maybe I am so involved and immersed in my work that I relate more to the dead and the grieving than I do to the living. Maybe I am just more concerned with them and their grief and ultimately their healing, and that makes me appear to be an asshole to most everyone else.
I always need help with the kids.
This particular case was a 3 year old girl. She died in a rollover.
It was the heaviest 35 lbs I have ever felt in my life. A 400 lb case is a piece of cake compared to this one.
I cried over her body. Her Mother was annihilated emotionally. Gone. Nothing left of this mothers soul at that moment. Void of everything but pain.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I don't have the luxury of emotional ignorance. I wanted to write and tell you what I see.
I see these posts OFTEN: "Click share if you have a beautiful daughter". "Click share if you have a handsome son".
I am positive that there are many that see these posts and spring in to tears, probably with the thought of "I used to". And they get to go through the grieving process all over again, resentful that someone is throwing it in their faces that their daughter or son met an untimely end.
Grief doesn't make sense. Grief is very personal.
Anything anyone says or does when someone is grieving, can be seen or taken as very personal.
There is no method to the madness.
The mother of the 3 year old little girl has a facebook. I am positive that those posts hurt her heart. I am positive that with the holidays right around the corner, she especially hates these posts.
"It's Daughter week!" Great! Again. like it was 2 weeks ago (I'm fairly sure that some of these posters make that shit up whenever the mood of that week hits them)
"It's Son week!" Nice. Again. Like someone on facebook told me it was last week.
Why is there even a son week or a daughter week? I don't get it. I just imagine loving them every day is probably best.
But I digress.
Maybe I am so involved and immersed in my work that I relate more to the dead and the grieving than I do to the living. Maybe I am just more concerned with them and their grief and ultimately their healing, and that makes me appear to be an asshole to most everyone else.
No comments:
Post a Comment