Penis.

I say the word penis, on average, at least 20 times a day.

"Don't kick people in the Penis."

"Put your penis away!"

"Are you rubbing your penis on my table?"

"We don't color our penises."

"Nobody wants to see your penis."

"Is something wrong with your penis? No? Then stop squeezing it, I'm sure your mother wants grandchildren someday."

You know, the norm.

Yesterday I rang my bell and made a lofty announcement " I am speaking to the boys. Please keep your feet, hands, crayons and elbows off of your own OR each others penises. We do not punch, hit, stare or even speak to another persons penis. I am tired of SAYING the word penis. If I say penis one more time to anyone in the WORLD, I will sell you. Do you understand me?"

"Yes Ms.Beanie."

The boys all answered (and tried not to laugh)
Everything was going well until the one little boy, who couldn't help it whispered "Peeeeniissss"
to the great enjoyment of every single boy in my classroom.

My head fell back and I sighed before going into full whale breathing.

*Breathing like a whale makes you feel calmer, instantly...try it.

I chose to ignore the penis whisperer and decided to take the high road of brow furrows and tight lips.
That never lasts long with me, especially when another child tells the penis whisperer that he was going to be sold soon.