A hairy one.
A crotch hairy one.
We were talking about our 4 day road trip to coachella this summer.
"I so can't wait to hear you fart Dawn!" (Dawn is a self proclaimed non farter....that is SO another story)
"What.EVER!!!" she smiled.
I looked at Geeka. "She's gonna fart in her sleep I KNOW IT!!!! We'll catch her!"
"I know! And poop! You're gonna have to poop while were there too!" Geeka chuckled.
"Whatever. Stop the insanity. why are you two obsessed with my farting anyhow?" she rolled her eyes and took a sip of her diet coke.
"You say you don't. And EVERYONE farts. EVERYONE!"
I nod in agreement.
"Well you two probably snore! I cant sleep with you. You snore. I will need earplugs."
"You snore too sista" Geeka laughed out. She looked at me with wide eyes "That's how she gets rid of all her farts...she snores em out nnnnnshhhhnnnnnshhh!!!" she made a snoring sound.
I laugh. HARD.
"And you two prolly poo with the door open and will want to chat huh? Beasts!!! I don't want to see your pubes while you poo!"
"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! You're not ganna see my pubes."
Geeka is no help. She is still laughing so hard at her damnself.
"Why won't I? Does your belly hang over em fattie?
"Friggen Dawn! Fuck you!" I smile and flip her the finger.
"Noooo. They are neat a trim and beautiful. That's why you wont see em !"
Dawn laughs. Geeka is silent.
"What do you mean trimmed Beanie? What do you mean? how are they trim...do you trim them"
I look at dawn. She shakes her head.
"I mean Toph trims em all nice and neat...wait a minute Geeka!!!! Do you have an amazon bush?? I so bet you do!!! A big ole bush!"
She sits back. "I do beanie. I do!"
"Like how big???" Dawn asks. They are both sitting across from me. Geeka shows her. On her LEG!
"SHIT!" Dawn slap's her hand over her mouth. She is laughing so hard. Geeka looks scared.
We share the restaurant with only one other group. They start to get annoyed by our laughter.
"Okayyyyy...Geeks. When is the last time you trimmed em? A little snip...a lil cut..when?"
She stares at me. Her hands are over her mouth. She leans forward and fiercely whispers "Never Beanie never!!!!"
Dawn and i stare at her. Suddenly she burst forth "Who teaches you that? WHO??? My mom didn't teach me that!!!! Why didn't she?!!!"
Geeka is OUTRAGED!
"Who taught you that Beanie...." she turns and looks at dawn. "Who!!" Her voice has risen.
"Common sense taught me that."
She leans forward again. Listening. Like I am about to impart the secret of life to her....in whispers.
"Whatdoyoumean?"
"Well...I want my shit licked...so i make it easier to get to."
Dawn nods. She pulls her hair out of the pony tail and laughs. She shoves her head in Geekas face. "Do you wanna lick my scalp Geeka?? Huh HUh??? You wanna lick it through all that hair? Shave that 29 year old bush geekaaaaaa."
We are bombarded with questions. We answer every one.
Almost every laugh whether it was wheezy, chuckely or giggly is punctuated with a dirty look from our fellow dinners.
We try to stifle it. It is so hard when the three of us get together. Each of us is funny in our own right.
As we leave Geeka and I make plans to speed across the street and pick her up some scisors...maybe a nice beard and mustache trimmer for ms. bush o lala.
I also stick my tongue out to the people in the booth with the dirty looks. The man just blinks at me. Seeing a grown woman do that is shocking sometimes.
He probaby thought I was special needs.
Over at Walmart we find the perfect pair for Geekas wild and crazy bush....
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