"how was your day?"

Every day I get home and my very old man asks me how my day was.

My children ask me if I had a good day, and even the hairy ex-beast asks.

My response is usually "It was a good day."
I respond that way because it would simply take too long to TRULY answer.

My day started off at 6:20 am, with the alarm screaming at me.

Coffee THEN pee....then the normal stuff around the house.

When I get to work the children hug me, I sidestep snotty noses to reach for the tissue box.
At 8:40 I am proudly shoving a piece of paper into a parents hands. The family is from France, and I had typed up and translated the letter.

She nods and smiles, and I ask if it is understandable. She said yes, and that makes me happy.

By 10'oclock I am getting shoes thrown at me. BEFORE the metal chairs but AFTER the entire cabinet of play food.

For 40 minutes I stand in homeliving and ask a 3 year old to clean up his mess, and then I will consider giving him the shoes he threw at me.

He freaks again, and starts tugging jackets off of the hangers and chucking them at my feet.
It is time to radio for backup.

I leave the child in the hands of my boss and head outside, where a little boy runs up to me, his face soaking wet. " Jacob Spit water in my face!"

He is properly agast....as am I.

"Waitaminute..." I question. "All of this water is from him spitting?!?!" I won't lie, I sorta shrieked. (Alot of times, children will stick their face INTO the water faucet..I dunno why, it's a kid thing.)


"Yes." He nods.

I call the spit child over and question him. I give him props for being honest but hint (In front of the spitee) "How would you like it if Angelo filled his mouth with water and spit it in YOUR face?!"

The kids laughs.... And nods....I sigh.

2.5 minutes later said kid's face is dripping with water, his face is shocked...I guess the spitee got the hint I dropped.

It is only 11:00.

For lunch today we served Fish sticks, brown rice, fruit medly, green beans and milk.
I hate fish, even if it is chopped up and compressed.

I cannot watch the children eat, but apparently they decide to litter my classroom floor with the rice, which is never fun to sweep.

During lunch, I sit with the children and they serve them selves. They are talking about superheros, and I piss off at least two when I mock Iron mans skills.

I raise my arm and wobble it back and forth. "See this children?"

They nod.

I whip my arm by fast, and my arm fat wobbles. "This could knock you out FLAT...I have wicked defense skills."

The four year olds look quite impressed and I am pleased.


The children settle on their cots and I sit down to TRY to think of "D" words that I can draw....but all i can think of are:


Dammit
Dingleberry
Douche
Dick
&
Divorce.

I finally settle on Diamonds, Dots, Dawn, Disneyland, Dogs and Dollars.
I quickle decorate my giant "D"s that will hang from my ceiling.

During nap (For which I am an EXTREAM nap nazi) I listen to a schoolager sing....over and over again. I "Shhhhh!!!" her until the table is covered with spittle, but to no avail.

After nap I start to give breaks, One child insists that he is not a robot boy, when I insist that he is.

He finally convinces me, by lifting up his pants and showing me that he has bones and not metal parts. I am properly impressed by this three year old and so I huff to his approval "FINE! Your not a robot boy!" and I stomp off.

I speak to 4 concerned parents, one of them the mom of the boy who hurled things at me for an hour.
I love this parent. we converse about her sons anger issues. Sierra Vista will be contacted. She is worried. I hug her and tell her "we will get through this."


During snack I write on the window separating my room from the two's. Dawn walks by and is properly impressed by my mad backwards writing skills.

At 3:30 my favorite parent comes in limping. She has a growth and will have surgery. I give her a squish and ask her to call me to help with her kids. She agree's but only after we double pinky promise.

 By 4:00 I am outside, giving breaks to two teachers. The pre-teenagers rush twords me and line up to question my magic 8 ball that I always keep in my apron.

Every single girl asks if a boy likes her, and my 8 ball is brutally honest.

10 minutes later a spelling test is shoved in my face by a ten year old. "100% MRS BEANIE!!!!!!"

I turn on my heel and get my treasure box down for her.

She is pleased, and chooses a mini notebook. He sister asks for one too. I replied "Show me the money."
She huffs..... Which makes me sorta happy.

Over the next 35 minutes I find two missing hoodies, one lost incident report, change two poopy preschoolers (just cuz I love Ginny)....and make 3 parents laugh...


Before I leave a co-teacher states that she makes better enchiladas then I do. "I must" she says "I am mexican!!!!"

I hop and huff and shake my finger. I call her a "BEAST!" and throw down the "Enchilada-off" gauntlet.

At 5:30 I pick up my honken cup of water and leave the building.

By 5:45 I am home and everyone wonders how my day was.

"It was good." I reply.