Gaydar and revirginization.

"DO I look like a lesbian?" I ask Brandee

"No...But do I?" she answers.

"Hmmm no. No you do not."

She nods her head.

I do not mind people thinking that I am a lesbian, I mean really, I could be called something a lot worse...like....a bad accesorizer. Or...ugly.

I am a huge Gay rights supporter. My cars all have an equality sticker on them. Brandee says that I am a better GLBT supporter then her and Mandy. And I HAVE been gay bashed before. Ask Brandee... it was awkward.

I take my children to our local Gay Pride days, and while we munch on homemade sandwiches we watch people dance and murmer praise over the hotpink hair that the man/woman is wearing. I take pride in the fact that my children view every kind of human being as a beautiful and unique one.

But...

I love penises.

I do not love Vag.

I do not want to smell it, lick it or even poke it with a toe.

I love Penises. I love the way they look and the way they feel. I love talking to them, singing INTO them and trying (my very) best to avert my eyes from them.

If you know me then you know that.

If you know me well then you know my quest of revirginization.

.....Maybe revirginization is the wrong word. I do not in any way wish for my hymen to magically reappear.

I do not wish to redo that awkward first time, where I was bored to death, popping my gum in time to the music that was playing on the stereo.

When I say that I am revirginizing, I mean that I have no plans in my immediate future to pursue any kind of relationship with the opposite sex. Sexual (yum) or otherwise.
I cannot conceive of a moment of time, in my day that I could or would give to another human being.

Now. Several friends HAVE urged me to pursue the booty call aspect. There is nothing wrong with a nice, healthy hump. But honestly, I feel that I really shouldn't just give my vagina away. I just shouldn't.

My vagina is amazing and should be treated as such.

Maybe it is because I am old....who knows.

Neither am I waiting for the perfect man. Men are not perfect. They smell bad sometimes and they almost always fart when they pee. They keep you waiting and turn everything you say into something sexual. Which is why, although men are not perfect, they are wicked funny.

(Okay. I sort of think men are amazing.)

Needless to say, this is what I mean when I say that I am revirginizing.

It means that I am not seeking out a hump-mate a soul-mate or a lesbian mate.

And although I do not MIND being considered or thought of as a labia licker. I am not.