BEANIE!

 I hear my name a ZILLION times a day, but when it is said in EXAUSTION...That means I had a productive day....


A mom walks by my classroom.

She is SO happy to see her son. I bite my lip. "Ummm...I gave your son a tattoo again today."
I say this sorta quiet, but alas, she swivels on her heels and walks up to me.

Thankfully she is smiling.

"Oh really? What did you do THIS time?"


"Well! HE asked for it, and here at kindercare, we believe in a child's right to choose."


"Mmhmm....well WHAT did HE choose?"

I shift...and look away from her eyes. "Well...just a little...tiny, minuscule really....Sleeve."

Her eyes widen. "A tiny...SLEEVE?" She laughs and walks to the next room. I count my kids and laugh under my breath, and look over at the office. Oh CRAP.

Thankfully I know this mom is cool with my tattoo skills...

I hear a pounding of feet and Kaiden runs up to me "Baby beanie...guess WHAT! I showed my mom...my mom I showed her my TATTOO!"

He is smiling and his shorn red hair shines.

I kneel down "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh Kaiden! Ohmygosh" and then I laugh because he thinks he is a rockstar now, thanks to me.

His mom walks up behind him as he is pulling up his shirt... "And MOM...look! LOOKIT..Beanie did on my BACK!"

I quickly rush "Oh yes...YES um ...i FORGOT...you know...about the back."

She peeks at what he is proudly showing her, pats his head and laughs at me "You wrote his last name across his whole back?!"

"I was feeling artistic, don't you think that a child should have the right to express his feelings through art?" I quickly stammer. I stand up. "Im SORRY. I'm a bad person!"

She laughs. "Hey...you KNOW this is ganna last for a few weeks, just remember I BATHE my son." And off they walk.

I hear Kaiden run to my boss and exclaim "HEY BABY BEANIE GAVE ME A TATTOO LOOK!!!!"

5 seconds later I hear from the office:  "BEEEEEANIE!...I SWEAR that girl..."

***********

A mom walks into my classroom. She has eyes ONLY for her son.
He wanders over to her and pulls on her leg. He is EXTREAMLY concentrated... "Mom...I gatta give Beanie 5 dollars."

She smiles and laughs at me.


"Oh REALLY? Now why do YOU have to give Beanie 5 dollars?"

"Not me mom..you...you have to give her five dollars, because I don't have 5 dollars, so can you give Beanie 5 dollars?

"Okay..." The mom laughs "Tell me why I have to give Beanie 5 dollars?"
I stand there very serious. Trying not to laugh.

"Well...I don't want a magic finger..so.." and off he wanders.

I won't lie, I dig around my house trying to find things to show this kid. He is hilarious and fascinating at the same time.

The mom looks at me.

"Well...I have this miraculous magic item (and I pull it out to show her) It makes your finger glow. I say a few magic words..and BAM! You now have a magic finger, and your boogers will be the most magical crustiest boogers ever!" I exclaim with excitment.

At this moment 15 children crowd around my legs...
"I want a magic finger!"
"Hey Beanie..I want one too!"

The mom laughs...."So he doesn't WANT a magic finger...and so now has to give you 5 dollars?"

"Yeah..." I replied, leaning against the cubbies, "He DID have a magic finger, but he wiped it off...so...He decided Magic fingers were bad. We shook on it and double pinky promised. The kid owes me 5 bucks dude."

"Okaaaay...well see what we can do...He DID shake and double pinky promise!"

The next day Kingston walks in with a baggie in his hands. "Umm Beanie...Here." He shoves it into my hands and wanders to the block area.

I look at his ma..."What's this?"

"Well..Kingston wants to know if you will accept these peanut butter chocolate chip rice crispy treats INSTEAD of the 5 bucks."

I take a square out.

I sniff it.

I lick it.

I nod.


"This is acceptable in trade." And i walk over to Kingston to shake his hand. Deal met.
I then yell "Woooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooo I LOVE my job!" 

 Dawn see's me, spots the treats and laughs.
"Beanie!"

*************

I2 shiny faces look up at me from circle time.

I hold up a picture of a dinosaur... "What kind of Dinosaur is this?"

They inspect the picture and shout "Herbivore!!!!!"


"Good...goood...how do you KNOW this is a Herbivore?"

"He has no sharp teef!"


"He has no sharp claws!"


"He has spines on his back to protect them from Carnivores!"

I smile, and hold up another picture "And what sort of Dinosaur is this?"

They shout at me (Their favorite thing) "CARNIVORE!!!!"

"Niiiice....how can you tell?"

"He has sharp clackity claws!" and the curl their fingers.

"He has sharp pointy TEEF!" and they show me their teeth.


"He looks MEAN! and is not pretty!"

I laugh.

"And what sort of things does a carnivore eat ?" My eyes keep landing on Ayden.
He smiles and squirmes.


"They eat bones!"


"They eat other dinosaurs!"


"They eat AYDEN!"

"Oh yes...They eat bones, and other dinosaurs....But their  FAVORITE thing to eat has got to be...most defenitly AYDEN CUSHENBERRY!!!!" I growl and stomp over to Ayden.

He runs and the children giggle.

I grab him up and eat his guts. I pretend to burp and let his now lifeless body slide out of my grasp.

I stick out my stomache and pat it...

"MMMMM. Now that is a GOOD Ayden Cushenberry!"

The kids all laugh and fall at my feet. They kick their legs and hold their sides.

I sit back down and they sit up too.

I hold up a card that reads "Carnivores" "Who knows what this says?"
I see their eyes connect with the word.
I see their mouths move silently.
And then I hear it.
"C.....C......"

I gasp and point my finger at one girl. "DID YOU JUST SOUND THAT OUT!?"
She moves back a little. Shy.

I sit there and stare at these kids. "I want to cry because you are all so friggen smart. I am so proud of you, and you are all BEAUTIFUL."

They laugh and squeal "BEANIEEEE!!!!"

And THAT is my favorite way to hear my name.