Evolution.

I have come to believe that women have evolved in such a way, that we no longer crave Mr.Right.
We crave Mr.Ridiculous.

Example #1: (Right)
Late 30's
Great career
No children
not hilarious...but funny.
Intelligent
Polite
Sweet
Loves kids
Loves Dogs
Thoughtful
BUT...
Is unattractive to me in every way
I find him entirely TOO nice
I think he is absolutely TOO polite. (no need to apologize to the dishrag for stepping on it)
When he is UBER sweet, I find it kind of a turn off.
When he texts me, telling me that he is thinking of me. I sorta find it clingy.


Example #2 (Ridiculous)
Mid 20's
No career
No real education
Practically comes from another planet
AND...
His laugh makes me warm and fuzzy
I could stare at him for hours
Is competent at both Food AND Water fights
If he stepped on a dishrag, he would NOT apologize. He would pick it up and make it his bitch.
The above mentioned would make me pee from laughing.
Makes my tummy warm and fuzzy
Makes me laugh, even when I'm so pissed off my eyes cross.

Now. How is this right?
I have struggled and tried. I have stared at the first man with such concentration...hoping the next time I saw him...he would be exciting, hilarious, and fuzzy tummy inducing.

Negative.

That's not just it. I believe I have cracked the myth of many marriages. (Liz and Jody's aside)
I myself was married for 13 years, please remember. And in no way was it horrible.
It was perfectly fine.
It was meh.

Being a divorced woman, in her early 30's...I have come across so many women, who once were so in love....simply to find out. It was a lie, or at least a perfectly smoothed over untruth.
They were miserable, They were Gay, They were abused....But they married...know why?
Because they thought that they should. Because it was the right thing to do.

When I got divorced, you would have thought HORNS grew out of my head. I was an evil breaker-upper of the sanctity of marriage.
(Dawn was too..neener)
Dawn and I went from so many friends to just us.
And now??? *gasp*  Hahahaha...Percentage wise, how many of these women are divorced? How many of these women have confided in us, that they WISH to be?

Pffffftttt.

Most of em.

But as I have worked, Met many AMAZING women (both parents and co-workers) at least 75 percent of these amazing women (or men...I love the gays) Are with Mr.Rediculous.....Why?
"He makes me laugh."
"He's good with my kids"
"The man fucks like a Porn Star"
"No body has ever pissed me off and turned me on as much as him!"
"He's my bestfriend."
"He's my soulmate"

I have come to the conclusion that MEN are not the issue here, we women are. We have evolved. We work, we pay bills. We no longer need a provider. (Would it be nice? SURE as long as Mr. Ridiculous can find a job...which he can't...but whatever.)

It's all of our fault.

"Where are all of the nice guys?"

He's right there.
He's boring
He's shaves his armpits
He wears bad shoes
He has huge nostrils
He is a fatty
He is a little too soft spoken.

So the next time Mr.Ridiculous makes you cry, or cup-o-farts you. Simply blame it on the evolution of women.