I need to find Jesus.
Last night I was 80 percent sure..This morning while sitting at the arco pump, I was 100 percent sure.
MeLinda is gone and my duties this week enclude leaving early and picking up babies, dropping off kids and coming back home.
I drove up to their house, buckled all of the beasts in and Toph met me at the window.
"How's your van running?" He asked
"Amazing." I replied, although I have been a nervous wreck since it's been fixed, convinced that, at the slightest sneeze, it will break down again.
The kids were loaded and I buckled myself.. "Thanks Beanie. You are a Queen."
I nodded to him in my most Queenly ' I am wearing no bra ' manner and my foot hit the gas.
Speaking of Gas, I had to stop for some, so Toph instructed me to go to Arco.
I did.
I sent Alyssa in to pay and I pumped.
The twins were singing and Sammy was snapping and unsnapping is seatbelt as I got back inside my van.
"Sammy. Buckle up or I will tie you to the roof."
His eyes got big and I heard his belt click...one last time.
Alyssa laughed and I smiled at her...and turned my key.
Nothing happened. I tried again, simply because you have too.
Same thing.
"Oh my GOD." I stated. Instead of "Fuck" which i really wanted too.
I looked around. Picked up my phone, which is really Shanes phone because I havent payed my phone bill yet...
Which means Dustin was un-reachable.
I dialed Toph. "Help! Help! You cursed me! Im stuck! My van won't start!" I squealed.
I think the only reason he understood me was because of the 13 years of experience he has beneath his belt.
My natural instinct was to blame it on him asking about my van, instead of blaming myself. (It's easier that way)
"I'll be right there."
I was at pump number 4 and people were waiting to get gas. I waved my arms out the window in which was CLEARLY a "My van is broken down!" movement.
Toph came, checked everything, fiddled with the battery a bit and finally had to abandon the twins and I to get Sammy and Alyssa to school on time.
I sat there, with my hood up until he came back.
Man after man walked by, glanced under the hood...and kept walking.
Soon enough my Ire was up.
(don't you just love that word? I've been waiting to use it for weeks)
Anywho..I was angry and getting more so by every man that walked by...in too much of a hurry to help.
I called Melanie.
"Remember how last night I expressed my need to find Jesus?"
She laughed "Yes."
"I am now certain that i need the Lord. I am sitting at Arco pump number 4 with twins in the backseat and penis after penis walking by! No one's helping! I need Jesus. Tell me where I can find him."
She laughed "Love. Jesus has never left. You have."
"I have NOT left. Im at pump number 4. Pray to Jesus for me."
I grabbed my camera out of my purse and climbed halfway out of my van, phone firmly pressed between my shoulder and ear. "You aren't helping me!" *snap* "You aren't helping me!" *snap*
"What are you doing?" Melanie questioned. Calm, but with a giggle in her voice. "I AM TAKING PICTURES OF ALL OF THESE MEN NOT HELPING ME!" I announced rather loudly.
"I mean I know that Im wearing capris with a hole at my hip, and wearing no underwear doesn't help. I have no bra on and no makeup and I was in too much of a hurry to shower this morning.. *snap* i really look like crap. I KNOW THIS! BUT...my daddy would have helped me. ANYONE in the country would help me...I have twins in the backseat and they are hungry. *snap* When I tell them to swallow their spit they look at me crazy. Men keep walking by and ignoring my need to a jump. or whatever it's called...I need Jesus. Yes. I do. You have been right all along...okay? *snap* My dad would be so PISSED at me for this. He would come here in his Morman garb and annoit me in oil. I know it..."
"Calm down."
"Huh?" *snap* too busy catching men on film.
"Calm down. Tophs coming back and you will be okay. I love you......"
I hear a laugh to my left. A woman is standing there filling up her shiney car...listening to my conversation...(Really..how could she not?) She is dressed all in pink and she is as fluffy as me. I smile at her. Because she is happy.
"Can I help you? I could at least push you over to the shade."
"You will help me?! Thank you Jesus. See? Hey Melanie!! This beautiful woman is helping me. Have I told you lately how amazing women are?"
She laughed and hung up.
I turned to the godess. "Whaddoido?"
"Put it in Nuteral. and I'll push you over there."
"Kay." So I did. (After she showed me how) And then I realised my power steering was out. "eeeeek!" I screeched as I turned my van. A red mustang came up and a tall black man got out. He ran over to help.
"I don't want to hit your car. eeeeeeee!"
He laughed. "You won't! You won't! Keep turning. TURN TURN!"
He had a deep voice.
"I have no powersteering! I am fat and not as muscly as my arms look!"
He laughed. "Oh yeah No powersteering! That sucks!" he kept pushing. I steered. Parked and Thanked my two helpers.
"What is your name?" I asked the lady in pink as she turned away. My tall man was already gone.
"Kim!"
"Thank you Kim! When I find Jesus I will pray for you!"
Her head fell back as she laughed.
(p.S) Toph figured out what was wrong. The twins now have Cherrios in their tummies instead of just spit.)
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